The 5 Reasons Men are So Attracted to Married Women
(and why these same reasons can make YOU more successful in life!)
I can say with 97% certainty that the following is true: I’ve got a brand new report providing you 25 very powerful but little-known tactics that can immediately make you more successful in your professional and personal life, but you are NOT much interested in it.
WHY aren’t you very interested in it? Because I’m giving it to you free today.
This has everything to do with one of the key reasons men are so attracted to married women, as you’ll shortly see.
Men are attracted to married women. Single men. Married men. Young, old, and everywhere-in-between men.
Perhaps not all men are. It’s safe to say that most men are, though.
Obviously they’re attracted to single women, too.
However, it’s a different kind of attraction.
Yes, it may sometimes start with an attraction to the married woman’s personality and physical traits. But it’s sparked and escalated by the very status of her being married. (One recent study even showed that, all factors being equal, between 30-40% of men are MORE attracted to married versus single women.)
There are five key reasons for this.
It’s IMPORTANT to remember that all five of the following reasons occur more so on an emotional and subconscious level in men versus a rational level. And most center on our brain’s tendency to compartmentalize and generalize, as in, “Her acceptance of one man equals an acceptance of all men.”
In other words, whether these reasons are TRUE OR NOT in the case of any specific married woman is beside the point.
The point is that in an instant, on an emotional and subconscious level (where most human decisions are made), these are the generalizations men make.
And while these reasons are interesting – and either flattering or annoying for married women, depending on the woman, on the man, and on the day – this is much bigger than being merely interesting.
Because it might seem an odd connection, but these same reasons turn out to be amongst the most powerful lessons for what to focus on if you want to become more successful in your personal life, your career, and even in building your own business. As you’re about to discover...
Reason #1 Men are Attracted to Married Women:
Human beings are very social creatures. Our radars are always on high for validation from other human beings that people, places, and things are worthwhile, or not.
That a woman is married is an instant form of this validation. It is social proof that she is “worth” coupling with. This makes her more desirable.
If her husband is widely admired or of high status, she is often even more desired, since the social proof – the “Like,” so to speak – holds more weight. If the woman is widely admired or of high status, by the way, it is assumed her husband must be too.
Social proof is, of course, why ratings and reviews and top 10 lists are so prevalent, and one of the key reasons social media like Facebook is so prominent. If something is highly rated or “liked” by others, we’re wired to instantly hold that thing in higher regard and give it more attention.
Your Success Strategy:
The lesson in this is already well-known in theory to most people, though most don’t work hard enough on it in fact: whether you’re trying to build a product, brand, or elevate your own status in other peoples’ eyes (to attract a mate, succeed in a job interview, etc.), work on building your social validation.
Powerful product and business testimonials, quality job references, a strong network of friends, dozens to thousands of “Likes”… social validation comes in many stripes, and it’s easily one of the most powerful ingredients to become more successful.
Reason #2 Men are Attracted to Married Women:
They are Experienced
A married woman holds instant appeal because she’s experienced at being with and dealing with men. Maybe in reality that only means she’s experienced with one man, her husband, but again this all occurs more so on an emotional and subconscious level where the brain instantly categorizes her as “Experienced with men.”
This doesn’t just mean experienced in bed, though of course that holds its appeal. It means she’s experienced at interacting and communicating with men in all regards. Her understanding and expectations already have some polish.
That someone is experienced at dealing with someone like you can be very comforting and appealing.
Meanwhile, the flipside – interacting with someone who might not have much or any such experience – can be stressful, as any unknown situation tends to be. One fear, for example, is that without that experience, her expectations for men can be higher than what is realistic, or at least what that particular man can reach.
Your Success Strategy:
No matter what your pursuit – such as a relationship, career, building a business – it’s crucial to put others at ease that you have the experience they seek.
Amongst their many other anxieties, a potential mate needs to know your expectations, and if they are realistic. A potential employer is anxious about your skills and dedication. A customer is anxious that their exchange of hard-earned money for your product or service will really be worth it.
It’s your job to assure them you have the experience. If you don’t yet have the experience, it’s important to show your commitment to understanding their needs and anxieties and demonstrating you’re willing to work hard to meet their needs and put them at ease. (And if you’re not willing to, you’re in the wrong game.)
Reason #3 Men are Attracted to Married Women:
They Like Men
In its constant quest for efficiency, the human brain makes some big leaps. If someone is eating at a certain restaurant, it assumes that person likes that type of food in general. If someone is listening to a particular song, it assumes that person likes that entire genre of music. True or not has nothing to do with it.
And so it is that a woman who is married sends the instant announcement, “Hey, I like men.”
That she likes men is even more attractive than her having experience with men.
And again, it’s not merely an announcement of her apparent sexual preference, but a wider statement that she likes whatever makes a male a male so much that she’s willing to spend her life with one.
Because men are generally as insecure as women, if not more so. And rational or not, in regards to single women there is the lingering question (usually subconscious, sometimes conscious), “Does she even like men?”
Even if a single woman’s sexual preference for men is clear, this lingering question again goes way beyond that: “Does she like whatever human males are enough to spend significant time with one, which at least puts me in the running?”
With married women, this question is immediately answered, that insecurity is eliminated, and that is very attractive.
Your Success Strategy:
Make sure you are sending a loud and clear signal that you accept and indeed LIKE whoever you are interacting with, and whatever they represent.
This is a HUGE and little-known mistake both individuals and businesses make: they assume that others inherently know they like and welcome them. Not true at all. In reality, the opposite is true: most people approach strangers and new businesses with their defenses on high, worried that they and whatever they represent are about to be perceived in some negative way.
This is a subtle but very powerful lesson if you want massive success in relationships, in your career, in business: find ways to quickly announce and SHOW your appreciation for whoever your “target markets” may be.
Here’s a great quote by Mark Twain: “He liked to like people, and therefore people liked him.”
The point is, people are in general insecure. If you can show you appreciate whatever it is they are and/or stand for, you put them more at ease, and they’re infinitely more drawn to you and trusting of you.
Reason #4 Men are Attracted to Married Women:
Celebrities. Ferraris. The Presidency. People want what is very hard though not quite impossible to get, precisely because it is very hard but not quite impossible to get.
We’re very hierarchical beings, and attaining what is largely unavailable makes us feel worthwhile and powerful compared to others.
And so it is with a married woman. She’s perceived as unavailable, though not outright impossible to be with, and that makes her all the more appealing.
The “conquest” of a married woman is of course one of the most popular male fantasies, as evidenced by the sheer volume of related searches on engines like Google.
This drive to take another man’s mate and make her your own, at least for a while, is instinctual, originating from the oldest parts of our brains. When this conquest is imagined (and often when it actually occurs), it provides a huge ego boost to the “victorious” male. Because of our competitive nature, this ego boost is more so about “defeating” the other man than “getting the girl.”
Like attaining anyone or anything that is largely unattainable, in other words, it makes him feel powerful and superior.
Your Success Strategy:
Ask yourself this: Both professionally and personally, where on the spectrum of easy-to-get to impossible-to-attain are you perceived?
If you are single and perceived as desperate, for example, you can be certain you’ll only attract those who place on low value on themselves and who will treat you lowly.
If in your career you’ve got significant experience and are great at what you do -- but you’re allowing yourself to get paid less for it than others at similar (or even lesser) levels – you can bet you’re being perceived as not as capable and worthwhile as you are.
It’s a strange thing about human nature: the more difficult to attain and elite you can position yourself (and your business, etc.), the more others value you and want you and what you have to offer.
(There is a limit, of course – you can, for example, price your products and services so high that there are few if any customers who can afford it, meaning you have no business.)
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It’s just basic human nature: if something is easy to get, most people assume it’s not worth much, even if it may be. And as noted above regarding married women, if something is difficult to get, we assume it’s worthwhile, even if it may actually not be.
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Reason #5 Men are Attracted to Married Women:
It’s wrong! It’s immoral! It’s terrible!
A married woman is supposed to be off-limits, and it’s precisely that taboo itself that can make the very thought of her more appealing.
Because we all -- men and women both -- have our mischievous sides. It’s in our nature to want to cross boundaries we’re not “supposed to” cross, to bite that forbidden apple, to touch something simply because there’s a “Do Not Touch” sign on it.
The only difference between one person and the next is how mischief is in them, and where their boundaries are drawn.
And on the one hand, actually following through on crossing the boundaries can cause heartbreak and worse. On the other hand, we never would advance as individuals and as a society if we didn’t cross boundaries that we’ve been told we shouldn’t.
For example, while in our society today it’s still widely considered taboo for a wife to sleep with another man not her husband, in other societies today it is still considered taboo for a wife to even speak to another man not her husband. Whether you see one or both of these as wrong or right largely depends on what place and time you’re from.
Put another way, if and when the day comes that the expectations of marriage do not even include monogamy – and trends suggest this day may come – this taboo appeal of married women will disappear with those expectations.
Your Success Strategy:
Review your taboos. Reacquaint yourself with all the boundaries you live within today. With that in mind:
Don’t just stay within all the boundaries that have been drawn for you by others over the years, centuries, and eons. Because that’s the second surest way to live a miserable life.
But don’t cross the boundaries simply because they’re there and you’re tempted to cross them. Because that’s the first surest way to live a miserable life.
Instead, because it’s what adults do, carefully consider each taboo and determine your own perspective -- your own beliefs -- about it. Not your parents’, not your clergy, not those of this political party or that, not those of a younger version of you, but your own beliefs now.
If you believe certain boundaries should not be there, understand the repercussions for crossing them – including to others -- and determine if in the larger scheme of your life it’s worth it to cross them anyway.
For example, back on to the topic of marriage, and particularly monogamy – many people today say they do not believe in monogamy. If that is your view too, but not your spouse’s, are the potential repercussions of you stepping beyond those boundaries worth possibly sacrificing other things you do believe in, such as protecting your spouse from heartbreak?
Certain of our beliefs can contradict other beliefs, so to put it plain, we each need to rank our beliefs for ourselves and follow them accordingly.
Usually you’ll find you are mostly living within boundaries that you accept, or boundaries
whose repercussions for stepping beyond are so great it’s just not worth doing so, even if you disagree with the boundaries.
But usually also, you’ll find one or a few boundaries you’re living within now that you shouldn’t be at all. They’re not your truth. They’re strangling your life. Stepping out of them can make all the difference.
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Why Men are Attracted to Married Women?
Brian Vaszily, Founder of Advantage Hacks, has grown 5 successful startups, launched many successful products, authored several books including a #1 bestseller, and coached many good people and 2 jackasses. For 20+ years it's been his passion to discover what MOST enables successful people to become successful. From timeless success strategies to new technology coming soon that will change our world, he reveals the most important secrets to you here, and usually does so in a damn enjoyable way.